Buenos, Happy January.
Though I said I wouldn’t be getting on here for another two months (until Aries Season) I lied lol.
Thing is, Philosophies and life has just be coming to me. While being on this particular process towards self-development. I truly have to go back to the past and bring it forth. To be honest, you are nothing without your past. It has molded., made you into exactly who you are today!
Not to sound all powerhouse’y or the fact that I am always in a kumbaya state. I' I am just trying to share parts of my life without collapsing underneath it. Before I sent this out, I sent something to my subscribers that allowed my fears to flow. My uncertainties. My unknowns, and just not knowing what that will look like.
…But either way. I am here. Right now! Ten Toes! What i am going to write below is a simple reflection of me and my life with dentistry. Most from what I’ve already written two weeks ago from leaving the dentist, and of course some edits and plug ins. Some from now after getting all four of my wisdom teeth removed, and what’s to come to and from me during the future as far as my teeth.
…. Reflections in writing:
“All I know is work. Going to work. Taking on the bulk of responsibility. Even looking at my health as such. Rigorous work! I needed a routine. I’ve cultivated plenty. They came together and fell apart just as fast. I wonder in this season of my life what did God want from me?
I remember being in high school like the 11th grade and finally going to the dentist. I don't remember going before that, you know, trauma does that to you. But I remember being there, getting an exam, being told that I had about 10 plus cavities and had to go back about three more times after my visit to get them all filled. To think I'm 33 now. I wonder if they were giving out mercury fill ins then too. I don't know.
The dentist and I haven't been the best of friends since. I hated the sound, the scraping, scratching, digging into my gums. Shit felt like a saw cutting wood.
Truth is, I realized having a random convo with who was my guardian at the time. She also mentioned she hated the dentist. So, it may explain why I didn’t go as often or why it wasn’t a primary thing taught at home.
Anyway, since then, it always took me years in between going to have my teeth cleaned. Even the homecare of my mouth wasn’t perfect. I’ve been sucking my thumb since 88 (though I was born in the 90’s lol). That is very much a habit that I am now breaking.
I always had to get deep cleans…my enamel was wearing down. Flossing twice a day and after meals and owning a tongue scrapper was not in my daily regimen. Work was, Parenting was. OK!
When parenting started for me in 2015. Check ins went out the window.
I've had gotten a root canal done five years or so years ago due to a decaying tooth. Just last year I had that same tooth pulled due to an extreme bacterial infection. (it wasn’t until after I went to Inception and did brain training and other modalities, I was able to move out if fight/flight/freeze) that I was able to really get to the root of what was causing me pain.
Began studying how root canals aren’t “saving” a tooth as you think. So many things.
…
Years! Years! Years of going, then stopping and not staying on top of it. Just working like nobody's business had put my overall health in danger on so many other levels. Wild times. Truth is, I wasn’t educated. I wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t know just what it meant to take care of one of the most important areas of your life. Your teeth are connected to your overall health, Your overall wellbeing, every damn organ! Food goes there and amongst other things. (But you know that aint none of my business lol). It’s your communication piece. Idk I might just be talking now.
…. Wisdom teeth loading.
Since being able to notice my oral health. My wisdom tooth were the ones that i was dreading to have to deal with. Don’t they come earlier that the age of 33?? What somebody lie and say they hurt when they come in. Truth is, they do. Neck and jaw pain was on a Thow wow. Ignored it. I didn’t have time for that. I got to get this money by tomorrow. Until finally I decided at my recent reg dentist checkup that it was time. The pressure on my neck, combined with the pressure I felt on my lungs and chest, and recent headaches there was no way that I was going to keep being stubborn. Being the cause to my own suffering.
So, I took it like a G. All 40 mins- or so to an hour of it. Got teary eyed, felt like was finna pass out because of the pulling and pressure. But I made it!
This is work that I've begun to truly understand. This work is a privilege that I owe myself anyway. Shit we all do. Discipline, ethics, study, knowledge and the ability to apply means the most to me. Knowing that I’m reversing so much by working on me allows me to eradicate lineages before and after.
Just by now actively going every 6 months and taking preventive measures at home. Changing out my toothpaste/toothbrushes (every 3 months), tongue scrapper on deck. Oil pulling too. It allows me to be confident in the decisions I make. Yes, I am a holistic girl first and always foremost, but I’ve also come to the conclusion of being ok with not knowing it all. Still moving with “professional” approaches if need be.
….
The thing is, to slow down, not sure if a say this all the time but if I do know I mean it. The powers that be demands our health at their hands. They want us to keep coming back for more. To keep us where we are. Maybe like me you didn’t grow up learning how important health, hygiene and routines are. Maybe you didn’t know how in the long run it could affect you.
But this is me. little and big me together telling you that it’s never too late to be of service to yourself. Regularly! Read study, figure out your method. Trust your instincts and small cues. Learn to live for you by being intentional with the body that you have while you’re here. Advocate, rest, reassure, contemplate, get other opinions. Do the work so you can be rewarded of its benefits.
Another thing too. before i get all righteous. It can be scary, it can bring up so many feelings, of guilt, shame and the unknown. Many faces being unmasked. It can swallow you whole. don’t let it! So many times, getting ahead in life makes us think of money and possessions, while that is a tool to get those things, but if good health aint at the top of the list then what we really doing??
…
I say all this to say!… Next up is braces. Getting these teeth straitened and corrected. After that, ninjas finna be unstoppable lol. Smiles in every pic lmao. Teeth through the screen lmao Big Busta Rhymes energy.
Bless up and be intentional!
I love you, but I affirm not more than you love yourself.
-Mel
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